This week has been filled with somber observations. On Saturday night Tim, Timmy, Gage, Tim's sister and her 2 girls went down to Trade street to hear the music. Of course Gage had a blast with Amelia and Chloe and it was a breezy evening so the heat was tolerable. Tim & Jeanine were sitting beside each other. Then the kids had there chairs bunch up in a circle - sort of between but also in front of Jeanine and my chair then came Timmy's chair. Timmy spent most of the evening playing with and keeping an eye on the kid while us three sat, talked and listen to the music.
About half way through the night I noticed that Jeanine and Tim were just talking away. Because of the 3 chairs between me and Jeanine I was far enough away that I really could not hear what was going on. Now this was OK - I was enjoying the music and watching the kids play. The I saw it, this is what the future would look like without me. It wasn't a sad observation, in fact it gave me comfort - Tim would be OK without me - he would still enjoy life, my children and grandchildren would still be able to laugh, and play, once I was gone. Life really would go on.
The second observation happened today at burger king. I know that having cancer and going through the treatments have put years on me. I look at least my age if not older - I say that because I was one of the lucky ones as I did not age as fast as most of my friends - I always looked younger. Tim was Tim and after the 2nd degree burns to his face last year he looked like a baby. Except for his silver hair he had never looked really old.
But today, sitting across from him at lunch, I could see the age creeping in on him. His cheeks were beginning to sag and his throat looked like that of his 85 year old mom. I guess cancer hasn't just aged me.
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3 comments:
Yes you think to much, just not about the right things.
Find Jesus, he is the only way your life will be better.
Interesting, the idea that changing the way you refer to God can somehow make your illness go away. If God decides to invoke a miracle, which is incredibly unlikely, he will do it regardless of what name you call him by. I'm absolutely positive that if you look at the instances of "miraculous recoveries" you would find equal numbers of bneficiaries from all walks of faith, and probably some from people with no faith. Although I really question how many people truly have NO faith. I think most that claim that just don't have a name for their belief, so they don't think it exists.
God has made a lot of lives better through Jesus. He's also made a lot of lives better through other avenues. I tend to give him credit for making possible all the good things that go on in our world. It seems unlikely to me that if good things happen to someone who hasn't "found" Jesus, someone besides God must be responsible. I certainly don't consider the undisputed fact that sometimes bad things happen to Christians as proof that God doesn't like Chritianity.
And as for thinking about the right things - I do think one can dwell on the negative aspects of life too much. But the truth is we all have thought at one time or another about life after we have gone, and how the people and the world we know will react to our departure. At least I have, and I think it creeps in there a little more often as we age. So if one knows that one's life is, in all likelyhood, not going to be as long as one would hope, it seems only natural that you would think these thoughts even more often. And the best way to get past them is to voice them so you can move on to better thoughts, instead of supressing them and have them stay under the surface, always there.
Then again, what do I know?
Maybe I think too much as well.
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